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tips from the other guys out there
Since I wear the Journey Group hat around here I'm always looking for what we need to do next, how to lead better, what changes do we need to make (even though some people hate that word..."change"), what are our groups really doing, are RISKS disciples really being formed in our midst, etc.
Here are a few things that Craig Groeschel, Lead Pastor of LifeChurch.tv said recently on a blog post. Thought I'd share them with you, the other fearless leaders on the frontlines of Journey Group realities...
Elements of a Successful Group from LifeChurch.tv : swerve by Craig Groeschel
Over the years, Amy and I have participated in several different small groups. Some were much more successful than others.
Here are the elements we’ve found essential for a great group:
1. A great group needs a leader. When everyone is always voting on what we do next, we never do much. A good leader makes for a good group.
2. A great group is built around God’s word. Too often, small groups become all about fellowship. While fellowship is always essential, doing life around God’s word is what truly makes the difference.
3. A great group is a safe group. If people can’t discuss openly without fear of judgment, rejection, or gossip, the group is doomed to fail.
4. A great group looks outward. Serving together is life-changing.
5. A great group births new groups. If a group stays together for too long, they usually grow stale. Healthy groups produce new groups.
6. A great group takes breaks. We often take the summer off from consistent meetings. We’re all busy. The break makes us long to be together more.
7. A great group hurts together. I just got off the phone after talking to a young woman with four children who just lost her 39-year-old husband. Even though she is devastated, she told me confidently that her Life Group would be there for her. God is glorified through such a group.
Have you been part of a successful small group? What do you think made that group successful?
Sharing the wealth as I reflect...dusty
questions are everything
When we intentionally disciple people we need both the art and the science of good questions. The art is discerning where the Holy Spirit might be taking your disciple-making conversation, and the science is having a business card-back-pocket guide to questions that are always worth asking. A good conversation can turn into a great conversation based on one question or a series of questions pertaining to real time discipleship.
When we ask good questions we are simply:
- meeting people where they are truly at
- creating space for self discovery
- not talking down to a person
- able to diagnose where people are at spiritually
- finding out if they are “in” or “out” on following Jesus as Lord (not just Savior)
- allowing people to recognize their potential
- creating space for people to verbalize (out loud) what they are thinking
- opening doors for the Holy Spirit
- probing or raising issues that can lead to transformation
- allowing people to speak to themselves
As a disciple-maker, one of the biggest challenges during Q and A is the A – really listening. Before you ask a question two things need to be at the forefront of your mind: 1) listen to the answer without jumping in with advice, and 2) answer it yourself (for sure in your mind and out loud if necessary).
Below are 20 questions that can lead to intentional discipleship. As always, the goal is never to use a textbook approach to disciple-making or read the questions off of a peice of paper over a cup of coffee. Rather, discern where God wants to challenge those that He has you in relationship with for His purposes and be ready with something to guide a decent conversation.
- What is your biggest challenge right now as a follower of Jesus?
- Where is God really shaping your character right now?
- What spiritual disciplines are you currently focusing on?
- How are you really doing right now? Are you stressed, challenged, overwhelmed, confused, etc? Why?
- (If married) In all honesty, how is your marriage going right now?
- (If married) Are you communicating with your spouse as much as you are with other people, work, church, etc? When was your last date?
- What are some things (maybe good things) in your life that you need to stop doing?
- Do you have more critics or cheerleaders in your life right now? Is that healthy? Why?
- When was the last time you felt the Holy Spirit show up in your life in a unique way? Was it too long ago? What did you learn from that experience? How did it shape you?
- Are you resting regularly / taking the Sabbath idea seriously?
- Who are some non-Christ followers in your life right now? What are you doing to help move them towards the Gospel?
- Do you feel like you’re being a good son/daughter right now? What could you do to honor your mother and father this week?
- What are you learning about yourself right now?
- What are you currently reading these days? What is so interesting about it?
- (If in your small group) To date, what has been your best group time experience? Why? How long ago was that?
- What are some of your deepest prayers right now? Where are you asking God to show up? How can be interceding with you on these things?
- How is your financial life these days? (dangerous for 2009!)
- What are you currently doing to serve people outside of your established friendships? (city/world)
- What temptations are you facing? How are you responding under these pressures?
- How is God revealing himself to your through Scripture? What particular passages are you identifying with recently? Why?
leadership gathering this friday night 2/20
How is your Journey Group goin? What challenges are you facing? What triumphs are you excited about? Who in your group is experiencing real life transformation?
This friday night, February 20th, Journey Group leaders are gathering at the CCC Old Mill site for discipleship focused conversations, leader to leader interaction, and a chance to fill your tank on mindset and skillset ideas when it comes to small group dynamics.
When: Friday night, 7 to 9PM (light desserts provided)
Where: CCC Old Mill FLC 141-145 (the Herd room)
What: Thoughts around chapter 6 of Choose the Life (come even if you haven't read) along with tools for your Journey Group toolbox based on the art and science of good questions.
every week DNA with a week off
As many of you know, in conjunction with the second busiest time of the year for Journey Group interest at CCC, Jaci I launched a new Journey Group at the start of the new 2009 calendar year.
The format that we're using is awesome for so many reasons...
DAY FREQUENCY
We meet every Tuesday night, except for the first Tuesday of the month. In other words, we meet 3 times a month. Considering the 4 months out of the year that have 5 weeks we'll do something different around serving the local community or just go do something different... In our experience, we've decided that this is a perfect format for two main reasons: 1) it is consistent week to week/easy to plan for, and thus creates some consistent community along with week to week discipleship conversations, 2) it puts a scheduled "breather" on the radar for everyone in the group.
DURATION
7PM to 8:30PM / 90 minutes of "official" time
Also, if everyone shows up for our Journey Group with their kids, we have a great night. Check out the post titled "17 kids without (much) chaos" for the format on how we tackle the "childcare/kid thing."
FEB 20th 7 to 9PM
As explained at our Accelerate breakout and at this link: Journey Group Leadership Development. We will be switching things up with our leadership development approach.
Please put this date and time on your calendar:
Friday night
February 20th
7 to 9PM
(room TBD...check back)
super bowl = super easy
17 kids without (much) chaos
Yesterday, two different church leaders asked me how to pull off a decent Journey Group...so here it is on the blog (of course). What do you with the kids? How can it all really work?
Last night, Tuesday, from 7 to 8:30 (official time) our Journey Group met in our not so large house, so I'll use my JG as one model. 13 adults and 17 kids make up the DNA of our group and so far it works! I'm convinced it works for one simple reason/word - "order".
If adults are going to have some decent conversations around life and godliness then we can't be dealing with kids all the time, and if there are kids there than we can't meet forever either, so we set some parameters. We officially meet for an hour and a half (7 to 8:30PM). Here's the adult Journey Group breakdown and the Journey Group children breakdown:
JOURNEY GROUP AND THE CLOCK:
"Decaf anyone?" (the 1st half hour)
As the leaders, Jaci and I (mostly Jaci) use the first 25 to 30 minutes to create welcoming atmosphere. We let the people create the community - it's only natural that way. Certain people talk all the time, certain people "love" this part of the group, etc. The unoffical time is where things (relationally) really happen. It also takes a few mintues to get the kids settled/established, etc.
"Let's gather in the living room." (the 2nd half hour)
As the leader, this is where I always realize the clock is tickin. I gather people in the living room and dive into some intentional conversations around spiritual topics, life stories in the group, recent issues, etc. In other words, this is the pivot point of the evening - the growth part - the challenge my socks off part.
"So what do we do with this?" (the 3rd half hour)
No matter what you talk about you have to "land the plane." As the leader, I have to take the conversation from spiritual talk to life application. We all know that there are lots of decent studies and curriculum, but what does it mean for the people in my group? As the leader, the application part, the rubber meets the road part, is my job. I'm pretty hard on myself in this area. If we can walk a good dance between intentional discipleship and community, then I've done my job. BUT intentional discipleship hinges on good application of whatever in the world we've been talking about. How does this stuff change my life? And yes...as always...don't ask application type of questions without being able to pin the tail on yourself as the leader. I gotta lead it in character and in discussion.
JOURNEY GROUP AND THE KID'S:
My amazing wife is a genius on this stuff. We had to have a plan if we were going to have potentially 17 kids (only two of them 13...the oldest two) at our house AND try to talk about something significant at the same time. Here's how it goes:
All kids in the basement with 2 babysitters - 13 year old girls. Parents (not us) pay $2 per kid to the babysitter. Small cost to the parent and decent payment to babysitter for her/their time.
Parents have to take care of bathroom issues/diaper issues, and large discipline issues. Other than that, babysitters are in charge and call the shots.
Schedule for kiddos:
7:00 - 7:40PM free time
7:40PM snack
7:40 - 8:20PM activity / intentional time led by babysitter
8:20 - 8:30PM clean up time
Married: discipleship and evangelism
This past weekend (Accelerate) at CCC was definitely focused on raising the temperature on loving your neighbor as much as you love yourself. Our Journey Group leadership huddle on Saturday 01/17 was a great environment to discuss how to create a marriage in the Journey Group context between discipleship and evangelism.
Here's a summary of the Journey Group Leadership Gathering this past Saturday:
The BIG Q: Is there room in your JG for non Christ-followers/non-believers? If not, why not? If so, what are you currently doing to foster a great growth environment between Joe who might be the "theologian" and Sally the non Christ-follower?
If there is someone in your JG that isn't following Christ - then you've hit the jackpot for two main reasons:
A) You need it (to push you in your dependance on God for good leadership) and your group members need it to push their own comfort level.
B) Sally, the non-Christ follower needs Jesus!
At the end of the day, people want to BELONG way before the BELIEVE or BEHAVE in the right direction. Church culture and culture in general used to get away with the mantra of: "Believe the right things, behave the right way, and then you can belong." Whether it is good or bad or your preference, one quick glance at the next generation and culture in general clearly indicates that people want to investigate and see if they "belong" at/with a certain group of people way before they jump head first into the DNA.
If this is true, evangelism and disicpleship aren't so divorced. This means that there really isn't a linear approach to "once you get evangelized over here, then you come over here for discipleship, and then so on down the road..." Rather it means, people might be well into discipleship WAY BEFORE they "sign up" for and commit to solid Christian beliefs, doctrine, and ways of life (behavior).
Remember, Jesus said it very plain and bold: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Mark 12:31 (Jesus' subtle and loud way of reminding all of us that we love ourselves a lot - atleast way more than we might think. He didn't say "more" than yourself, just "as much as" you love yourself.)
So, what does it look like for you, as a Journey Group leader, to foster a marriage between evangelism and discipleship in your group?
prayin for leaders and open chairs
We are currently working with a few potential leaders that responded to Mark Ashton's Vision Sunday challenge, but making these groups launch is what keeps us at the feet of Jesus (among other things: worship, adoration, the Gospel reality of our depravity, and more).
Loving the ride and trusting God for the connections!
KILLING 2 MYTHS in every journey group
Recent real-time stories from some of our Journey Group leaders have me excited to slay 2 different giants this coming Saturday that to creep into every living room:
Myth #1) EVERYONE IN THIS JOURNEY GROUP IS A CHRIST-FOLLOWER / BELIEVER
Sometimes we as leaders assume that Christ has been received by the people that sit around the table or living room with us as we discuss God and spiritual stuff. He is Lord, but are they letting Him reign as Lord in their lives? How do we lead that and model it? How are you?
Myth #2) EVERYONE IN THIS JOURNEY GROUP IS MOTIVATED TO LOVE THEIR NEIGHBOR (LIKE JESUS COMMANDED US TO)
Sometimes we as leaders assume that people are as amped up as our leadership culture and pastoral staff are about loving their neighbor as much as themselves. They aren't. In fact, a lot of people in our JGs are simply trying to survive and their motivation for others might not even be on the radar. How do we lead that and model it? How are you?
At the CCC Accelerate weekend breakout our Journey Group leaders will be discussing these 2 things as we apply the accelerate material, and we will reveal the 2009 approach to Journey Group leadership development.
Journey Group leaders breakout info:
Saturday, 2/17
10:50AM to NOON
FLC 141-145