Navigating the Messiness of Church: Healing from Church Hurt
Let’s be honest—churches are messy. From scandals to personal struggles, the Church, in all its imperfection, often surprises us with its flaws. This reality hit home for me during a leadership camp in Michigan with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. The president, a paragon of virtue, stepped down due to an affair. It shattered my preconceived notions, revealing the messy truth about the Church.
Experiences of Church Hurt
Church hurt is a real and painful phenomenon, ranging from financial misconduct to rejection of the vulnerable. Stories of infidelity, rejection of unwed pregnant women, and even divisions over trivial matters illuminate the messiness within church communities. As a pastor, I’ve witnessed the underbelly of church life and seen the wounds and struggles of church members.
The Messy Church at Corinth
The Bible itself addresses the messy nature of churches, and perhaps the prime example is the Church at Corinth in Greece. The Apostle Paul, along with his companion Sosthenes, writes a letter to the Corinthians, acknowledging their messiness and offering guidance.
Acknowledging and addressing church hurt is crucial for healing and transformation. Here's a brief overview of steps to navigate the complexities of church hurt:
Define church hurt as immoral. Recognize that hurtful actions within the Church go against the core values of healing, forgiveness, encouragement, and care for the vulnerable. Don't shy away from calling out wrongs.
Separate church hurt from God's love. Differentiate between the actions of individuals within the Church and the character of God. Understand that abusive behavior contradicts the nature of a loving and just God.
Recover your identity. Root your identity in the gospel, understanding that you are sanctified and called to be holy. Seek support outside the toxic church environment, whether through counseling, recovery groups, or a healthier church community.
Reclaim your spiritual practices. Despite past spiritual abuse, reclaim practices like church attendance, Bible study, and prayer. Don’t let the actions of others steal the joy from life-giving practices designed for your edification and growth.
Remember that God is against church hurt. Understand that God grieves when his people experience hurt within the church. He desires to meet individuals in their deepest, most sensitive places and bring healing without force or manipulation.
Navigating church hurt is a challenging journey, but it’s essential for personal growth and restoration. By acknowledging the messiness, separating it from God’s love, reclaiming your identity, and remembering God’s desire for healing, you can find a path to recovery. The Church may be imperfect, but God’s love remains a source of unwavering support.
Blog adapted from January 7, 2024 message by Minister Mark Ashton
