Project 4:4 and kids

 This is the week that we head into the Project 4:4 reading as a church, and the Kids Connect staff have received several questions about how the reading of the Bible will coordinate with the adult reading. Through 2012, all family members have the opportunity to read through an appropriate version of the Bible.  Neither of the children’s Bibles include all of an adult version, so the children will not be at the same place as adults, but everyone will learn the “Big God Story” as we move through the year.  Children of all ages will cover a chronological overview of the Bible in 2012 with age appropriate stories of the Bible.  A recurring theme throughout the year will be that God made a promise and he fulfilled that promise in Jesus.

First and foremost, as parents and adults, we need to remember that the benefit of reading the Bible with children far outweighs the benefit of reading a specific section to coincide with the adult reading.  Surveys consistently show that giving young people opportunities to talk about faith in the family or church context, assists them in identifying and understanding what their faith is about.  Talking about Jesus moves children towards a greater understanding of who the Jesus they believe in really is, what He has done and why He came to earth.  So have conversations with your children each week, ask wonder questions as you read together as a family (I wonder why God created animals before people…  I wonder if the animals could speak…  I wonder ifAdamand Eve were afraid after they ate the fruit from the tree God told them not to touch…  I wonder how God felt whenAdamand Eve disobeyed…)

 Preschool and Kindergarten

If you are using the “Jesus Storybook Bible” with your children you will move very quickly through the Bible and will possibly read the stories over and over.  The stories do not always coincide with the Kids Connect lesson however the HomeFront weekly resource will direct you to the correct portion of scripture for that week’s lesson. 

Suggested reading for January to coincide with Kids Connect lessons                 

Date	Jesus Storybook Bible (JSB) Chapter	Kids Connect Lesson
Week of 1/1	The Story and the SongThe Beginning A Perfect Home The Terrible Lie	Abraham Trusts the Covenant
Week of 1/8	Son of Laughter	Abraham and Isaac’s Birth
Week of 1/15	The Forgiving Prince	Joseph is There for His Family
Week of 1/22	Exodus 1; 2:1-10This particular story is not in the JSB.  Read from another storybook Bible or tell the story to your child.  Consult HomeFront Weekly for activity to use with your child	Baby Moses is Protected
Week of 1/29	Any or all of stories leading up to Moses	Review

 Grade School

If your children are in grade school, you have two opportunities for tracking with the reading.  Follow the reading schedule in the “One Year Children’s Bible” to read through the Bible in 2012.  Or you can use the HomeFront weekly parent resource to read the portion of scripture that corresponds with the Kids Connect lesson for the following Sunday.  For instance read Genesis 2 – 3 in preparation for the lesson this Sunday, God Created Us to Be with Him. 

 Each week parents receive an email with suggestions on bible reading and activities to introduce the Bible story.  The email is titled, “What are my kids learning this week?”  If you need to register for the parent email, send a request to jeffn@cccomaha.org.  The HomeFront weekly is handed out every Sunday and it is posted on the CCC website/Kids Connect/HomeFront.  Please ask a Kids Connect staff member if you need help finding the HomeFront weekly.

 The Kids Connect staff team is praying that each family will grow in knowledge, understanding, grace and love as you read God’s word.

What are traditions?

Tradition; what are the traditions of your family? Either as you were growing up or that you are starting with your own family? What is a tradition? I’m sure Merriam-Webster has a great definition, but it is just something you are passing along to your family. It could be your beliefs; it could be customs from a previous generation, or something you want to start within your own family, that your kids will remember and treasure. As our kids got old enough to start creating some of our own traditions, we started two. One was to put up a manger scene, which we added to every year. We were pretty frugal, so we would add on to the scene at the end of the year, when everything went on sale. Then, the next year when we put it out, there would be fun new pieces to add. The other tradition was to go to Christmas Eve service. These two simple ‘traditions’ grew into something just a little bit different as our kids got older. They understood that we celebrated Christ’s birth on Christmas day, so it didn’t make sense to them to put baby Jesus into his manger when we first set it up, as that was usually two weeks or more before Christmas. So, we started a game of ‘hide and seek’ with the baby. The baby would be found and moved to another place by family members throughout the two weeks leading up to Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve, we would have potato soup and tuna fish salad, a tradition carried on by my husband and me, from my family. Then, we would get dressed up and go to church. When we came home, we would change into our jeans or jammies, and then set a time for the search for baby Jesus to end. At the designated time, whoever had hid him last would take him out of hiding and ‘place’ him in his manger bed. It was so precious to see them do this when they were little. As our kids have gotten older, the tradition has not stopped. The manger scene is up, and the person who placed him in the manger last year has hidden him this year, to get it all started again. I am pretty sure as our Granddaughter gets a little older, that she will be joining in on the fun!

What are the traditions your family has for this time of year? If you don’t have any, it is never too late to start. I pray that you and your family will have a very blessed Christmas, and enjoy your time together, making memories and coming up with traditions.

Merry Christmas from Kids Connect!

2012 Project 4:4 for kids

What about Kids Connect? Kids grow best when they hear God's story throughout the week. Kids Connect Sunday lessons will follow the chronological sequence of Project 4:4. Parents will have a rich backdrop for family discussions based on their personal reading commitment. Preschool Children / Non-Readers From Noah to Moses to King David to Paul, The Jesus Story Book Bible tells the Story beneath all stories in the Bible. Every story whispers the name of Jesus as children discover for themselves that Jesus is at the center of God's great story of salvation, and at the center of their story, too.

Elementary Children The One Year Children's Bible provides kids with a daily reading to deepen their understanding of God's word and instill in them a love for reading their Bible every day. An easily accessible Bible encyclopedia and index of key people help kids better understand what they are reading. Through Project 4:4, kids will engage with the Bible every day in a way they can understand.

Homefront Family Night - Don't miss it!

November 18, 2011, Homefront Family Night at Old Mill. Parents, bring your kids and attend Homefront Family Night to get a better understanding of how to use the Homefront Monthly magazine. We will be selecting 4 activities in this month’s Homefront for you to do.

Here are just a couple of the activities; Create Identity Beads-God’s Word says we are a family who has been chosen, adopted, redeemed, sealed, and given an inheritance in Christ. We’ll use alphabet letter beads to make a bracelet or necklace that will remind you of your identity in Christ. Traditions family timeline-we’ll get you started on creating your family’s timeline, with significant dates, then you'll take this home and build on it to create your own family story.

This event is for all ages, so bring the whole family! It starts at 7:00PM in the Student Center, and ends about 8:30PM.

What is the Purpose of Kids Connect?

Helping Kids to Know, Love and Follow Jesus

In the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) we hear the command to make disciples by teaching them as they go. The vehicle of disciple-making is teaching. As a Kid’s Ministry leaders we want to teach them to know Jesus…a knowing that uses the mind to understand the stories of the Bible AND a knowing that opens the heart to see what our mind cannot see. A heart knowing requires relationship with Jesus, each week we strive to combine the facts (mind) with our passions (heart) in order to integrate knowing into every aspect of living.

As we plan programs and Bible lessons, we ask ourselves, “Does this lesson, activity, or event help kids to know Jesus? Do the activities ultimately point to an opportunity to know Jesus better?” The goal as kids move on to student ministry is for them to have transitioned from the basics of just knowing the name of Jesus to an understanding that:

Jesus forgives

Jesus is the son of God and the son of man

Jesus is the living word

Jesus is the Lamb and the Savior

Jesus loves unconditionally

Jesus answers prayer and speaks to us

Jesus is God’s chosen redeemer

Jesus is at the center of our teaching. Keeping Christ central informs the songs we choose to sing, how we pray, who we choose to lead, what point we draw from the Bible lesson, what we celebrate. All of these components lead us to understand that we were created to worship Jesus, not ourselves.

Jeremiah 24:7 (ESV) states, “I will give them a heart to know that I am the Lord, and they shall be my people and I will be their God…” Please pray with us as we move into a new ministry year that children at CCC will know Jesus.

HomeFronts Make Family Nights Stress-Free for Parents!

One of the reasons we chose the TRU curriculum for Kids Connect is the parent resources that are provided each week. Parents are children’s primary spiritual teachers so we love equipping parents to grow in this role. We see CCC as a partner with parents to raise up the next generation to follow Christ. Resources are great, but only if you use them. We’ve asked Jen Dougherty, a long-time CCC attendee and mother of 3 to share how she uses the HomeFront with her family.

SB: Jen, tell us about your kids and your involvement at CCC.

JD: I have three kids ages 11, 8 and 4. My husband and I have been attending CCC since 1995. Right now I am a 2nd grade small group leader at the Old Mill Campus.

SB: What have you noticed about the TRU curriculum that is different from what we’ve used in the past?

JD: I love the Big God Story and that the kids learn that each Bible story fits on a timeline of events that are sequential. Without a time line, it’s difficult for them to understand the context of where the story fits in to the big picture. It’s confusing for kids because they don’t understand that Jesus didn’t live during the time of Moses or that David comes after Noah. The timeline helps pull it all together.

SB: How has this switch impacted your family?

JD: TRU is more cohesive. Everybody is getting the same thing which makes it easier from a family perspective. The Homefronts make planning a family night easy. We used to scramble to plan something for family night—pulling from Heritage Builders or searching for ideas online. Now, we have the option of planning something fancy if we have time, or keeping it simple with the Homefront activities.

SB: Tell me about your family nights. How did you get started doing that?

JD: When our kids were little we started by reading from their Children’s Bible. It only takes one minute to read a story and they come to know and expect it. When our kids got older we started setting aside one night a week for family night…most weeks anyway. We read the Bible together and we may do an activity or just talk about the questions in the Homefront. We’ve been doing that for about 3 or 4 years now.

SB: Is it hard to do this regularly?

JD: Yes, and I’m not trying to say that we are doing things perfectly. We are not always consistent and sometimes we squeeze the Homefront in while driving in the car or at bed time or dinner time. That’s the great thing about having it right there.

SB: Other than setting aside specific family times to talk about God, how else do you help you children grow spiritually?

JD: I pray with them. Pray, pray, pray with your children.

SB: When do you pray with them? JD: All the time. In the morning while dropping them off at school I pray that God would show Himself to them. We pray at dinner and bedtime. When they come home from school and have had a bad day, we pray about it right then. We love the blessing cards too [from the TRU curriculum]. My next goal is to find a verse for each of my children that I will pray over them regularly.

SB: Have you noticed any fruit from these efforts?

JD: I’ve especially noticed my 8 year old’s faith growing. My 11 year old will ask tons of questions and the 8 year old will be listening and taking it all in. If we didn’t purposefully and intentionally talk about these things, I don’t know if they would ever be thinking about it. They just have grown more disciplined and they know the Lord better every day. I think they love each other better because of the time we spend in the Word.

SB: What would you say to other parents who are beginning to use these resources and attempting to lead their family spiritually?

JD: We have to impart the importance of intentionality. We can just be lukewarm. These are our kids. As a small group leader in Kids Connect, I can tell which kids are geared to receive the blessing and hear from God. It’s obvious that some kids are not getting anything at home. It’s great that they come on Sundays, but parents really need to understand that they can make a huge difference in their kids’ spiritual growth by leading the way.

SB: Thank you so much for sharing your experience and helping us stay focused on the importance of setting aside family time.

What is Spiritual Parenting?

Confession: Doing the weekly Homefront activities with my kids is like aiming at a moving target. I must have some picture in my head of the perfect family quietly nestled down for family devotions. My family never looks like that picture. Even when we do manage to pull off the activity, I'm not always great about pulling in "the right" application point. Case in point: Last week we played a dramatic game of hide-and-seek in our small apartment. This challenge highlighted the competitive nature of everyone involved, mostly my husband and me. See, when there aren't many places to hide you have to be very creative and flexible. Literally, you have to have great flexibility in all extremities to pull off a good hiding spot in our house. As I crouched in the shoe basket inside our front closet, holding my breath behind the winter coats I remembered how fun it is to play hide-and-seek and how absolutely terrifying it is to be waiting and waiting, hoping not to get caught. At the same time, crouching in the shoe basket is pretty uncomfortable so I did want to be found...eventually.

My kids would have an easier time with the hiding part except for their complete inability to squash the giggles. They are still small and can fit in impossible places. They have every advantage in this situation, but they cannot stop laughing long enough to be missing for any length of time.

While I would like to claim the prize for best hider, in my heart I know it belongs to Bo, my 6'5" husband who managed to squeeze his gigantic frame underneath an impossibly small twin bed. It was the last place I would have even thought to look for that man and the only reason he was found was that I had seen him run in that room to hide. (Yes, I'm a snitch. Once I'm found I want everyone else to be too.) Even then, when my son was pointing under the bed saying, "I found him!" I was not convinced he was telling the truth because I just couldn't see how on earth he even got under there without disassembling the bed. Did I mention we are competitive?

What I wasn't prepared for was how intense the game really was for my 8-year-old son. As I transitioned to gathering together for the Bible story of the shepherd searching for his lost sheep, I realized that he was actually terrified. The point of the Bible story took a back seat to the real need to deal with the fear that was triggered in my son's heart. Our conversation took a completely different slant and we instead recalled verses about fear and the truth that God is with us always. We prayed. We cuddled. We worked through it together so that he could fall asleep that night without fear.

When I look back at that night, a piece of me feels that we didn't "accomplish" what the paper told us to do...and the perfectionist in me is disappointed. On the other hand, I truly feel like we did in the moment what needed to be done--connect with our child and meet his emotional and spiritual needs...and the Spiritual Parent in me is delighted.

The goal of Spiritual Parenting is not to follow some rigid list of rules or merely manage our kid's behavior. The goal is to pass on a vibrant, transforming faith to the next generation. Michelle Anthony, author of Spiritual Parenting says, "We can spend our hours or invest our days in what matters." We can look for those opportune moments to redeem the time we have with our kids.

I tell you this story in case your target is moving too. Vibrant, transforming faith is not a static thing, but it is worth it!

Worth The Battle?

There is an all out war raging at our house over screen time, helping around the house and fairness. Inspired by a friend, I decided to implement a new plan on how to regulate screen time (TV, computer & video games) and motivate my kids to contribute to the general well being of our household. The basic idea is that they can have as much screen time as they want, but they have to earn the points by doing household chores, reading or other beneficial activities.

My kids have decided this system is completely unfair.

Why? Because I had fallen into the parenting strategy called, "Getting Through The Day."

I define the Getting Through The Day strategy like this: Doing whatever it takes to get through the day without a fight, even if it means sacrificing the long term good of my children.

This is my default mode when I am tired, busy and burned out as a parent. I simply run out of energy to engage in the battle of raising responsible human beings and I settle for happy kids, even if that means I have to do everything myself and end up even more tired, busy and burned out.

There are seasons where Getting Through The Day is a completely valid parenting technique. Those stressful times in life where temporary circumstances throw life into a blender and all you can do is swim to the top to avoid being sucked into the sharp blades at the bottom would be acceptable moments to employ this strategy. Moving, having a new baby, recovering from surgery, starting a new job and grieving the loss of a loved one have been blender seasons for me as a parent. My kids have learned a lot about being independent during those periods.

It's when I realize that the blades are no longer whirring and some of the independence my kids are exerting have gone awry that I decide to fight a few battles for well-being of my beloved sons. In this case, the screen-time battle of 2011. I've stepped back and looked down the road a few years and decided that when I've launched my kids I want them to understand a few things. That life does not revolve around our entertainment. That work comes before play. That it's important for us to work together for the well-being of our home. That spending time together interacting is way better than zoning out.

As Reggie Joiner says in Think Orange, "In my pursuit of what I thought would make my kids happy, I threatened what makes them come alive."

So I've picked up the battle ax and started swinging. My kids are not happy. They have been shaken out of their video-game-induced coma. They are experiencing the pain of being alive. I know I'm not fighting perfectly, but I am depending on the grace of God to cover over my inadequacy.

What is it in your home? You may have already fought the screen time battle and won. Have you thought through some of the end-game results that you desire for your children? Is there anything worth the battle?

Parenting...The Great Embarrassment

I always knew there would come a day when I would be an embarrassment to my children. I just didn't know it would come so soon. Apparently, a six-year-old is not too young to be concerned about his mother's public behavior. I have been informed, under no uncertain terms, that I am NOT to dance at stop lights while driving, and I am to limit my private dancing to times when only members of our immediate family are present. Clearly, I do not have enough dignity to impose these sensible limitations on my own behavior. They need to come from my kindergartner. Vindication has come however on a recent mission trip to Peru. One of the missionary moms approached me at the end of our week of working with her children and said that her kids thought I was a really cool mum. Did you get that? I am a "Cool Mum." So what if I had to travel to another continent for this to be true? These kids even saw me dancing crazier than I do at stop lights and they still think I am a cool mum. (Sorry, I just can't stop writing "cool mum." I might even invest in some personalized license plates with that description. Of course, that will undoubtedly be completely embarrassing to my children.)

Now, in order to encourage that mom, I confessed that in my own country and to my own children I am actually an embarrassment. She was not surprised since she, also, is an embarrassment to her own children. Her encouragement to me was this, "To be fair, think of all the times your children have embarrassed you."

Ah yes, I instantly recall the day my firstborn followed me out of a store screaming at the top of his lungs how much he hates me and how I am the worst mom in the world. That was a doozy. Then there was that time, OK one of many times, that my newly potty-trained son was caught publicly watering trees, rocks and fences. Really, this list could get very long. In fact, parenting can either drive you to insanity attempting to minimize embarrassing situations in order to win approval of onlookers, or you can learn to seek the approval of One. There is no in-between because your kids will shame and humiliate you. It's only a matter of time.

This realization, that the embarrassment flows both ways, is slightly vindicating, however, there is another important principle at work. The fact of the matter is, our kids will probably always find it easier to see a "cool mum or dad" in someone else. My question to you is, "Who is that going to be in your kids' lives and how will they influence them?"

Confession. I am not at the place where my kids have completely tuned me out and are looking for other voices. Wisdom tells me that eventually it will happen. No matter how much they love me and want to marry me now, eventually they will realize how embarrassing it is to want to marry your own mother and will decide that I have no idea what I'm talking about. At this point, the opinions of peers, teachers, mentors and coaches will seem much more appealing than those of their embarrassing mother.

As a parent, I can cross my fingers and hope they choose good voices to listen to, or I can diligently forge relationships with adults with whom they can build trust. This is a huge benefit of being in the body of Christ, belonging to a church family who will come along side me and my children as we navigate the decisions of life. This is also a huge benefit of sticking to my guns on Sunday mornings and insisting that they attend Kids Connect when they'd rather just go to service. These small decisions set them up to have adults in their lives who will speak the truth of God when they don't want to hear it from me.

My husband and I also have made a point of continuing a relationship with our kids' Kids Connect teachers outside of Sunday morning. It helps that one of them is in our journey group and the other is on my husband's softball team. It also helps that we truly enjoy them and love sharing life with them. The side benefit is that we increase the time that our kids interact with them and at this stage, time is gold. In order to develop a real, meaningful relationship it has to happen over lots of time. So we make this investment with hopes that it will pay off in the lives of our kids.

My challenge is for you to think this through and be intentional about putting your child in the path of adults who love God and are willing to invest in their lives. I would love to hear from any of you who have done this and found it helpful.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” African proverb

I remember when Hillary Clinton used this African proverb in 1996 at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago. The outcry by the conservative community was loud! Parents are the people that should lead families, not government. In their haste to condemn what was interpreted as the government imposing it’s will on families, an important Biblical principle was lost. Raising kids is hard. Even if you are great parents, doing everything “right” there comes a day when your kids need more than just you to influence them. When our boys were in grade school we made the decision to move from Denver to Omaha. One of the considerations in our decision was the desire to be closer to our extended family…we wanted to widen the circle of influence to include grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins for our boys. We are fortunate to have a family that exemplifies the same values as my husband and I; we realized that influence from family members would help our kids stay connected to God as they navigated their teen years.

Our family situation may be different from yours but the concept of having an extended community of adults to help mentor and influence your kids is not only desirable but worth the effort. Developing relationships with families and adults that love God will someday prove to be invaluable.

When Moses talked to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 6 about passing on their faith, he spoke to the entire community. It was everyone’s responsibility to make sure that the next generation knew to keep God as the first priority. A typical Hebrew household could consist of over eighty people with aunts, uncles, cousins…. The modern church community can and should be a place where families share beliefs and encourage one another on the spiritual journey.

In the book, “Parenting Beyond Your Capacity,” authors Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof tell us that one of the greatest values of the church is its potential to provide community for children. The church should be a place where kids can show up and be safe, a place where they can have meaningful dialogue with another trusted adult, and a place where they can ask difficult questions.

So how do you build strategic relationships into the lives of your kids? 1. The first step is to develop relationships with families that mirror your beliefs. Start today by becoming a member of a Journey Group. I believe it doesn’t matter whether the group consists of families with kids the same age as your family or a group that is multi-generational. The key is to be in community with people that are willing to invest in your family and likewise you will have influence on the others in the group. 2. Connect with your child’s small group leader to develop a relationship. Ask if there is anything you could do to help your child engage better with the group. Express your appreciation to the leader for investing in your son or daughter. 3. Find ways for your kids to serve as they approach adolescence. Serving alongside leaders and adults helps kids to see how to “be” the church in contrast to just attending church. More can be learned by serving side by side with others than sitting in a classroom hearing about serving. 4. Search for mentors in your community. Think of adults in your relational network who could be a positive spiritual and moral voice in the life of your son or daughter and begin a conversation with them about a mentoring relationship with your child.

Remember we have greater influence together than we do separately. Begin today to consider how you can build strategic relationships in the lives of your kids.