LIVE IN
Men's blog

Archive for October 2014

What Kind of Man are You – Part III

“The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in and by the man who is full and wholly consecrated to him. I will try my utmost to be that man.”
D. L. Moody

In his book Men of Courage, Dr. Larry Crabb writes that there are three characteristics of an inauthentic man that represent the battles that go on deep inside their soul. These characteristics are that an inauthentic man feels powerless, angry and terrified. Last week we looked at the characteristic of feeling powerless. This week are going to look at anger.

An inauthentic man who feels angry is easily irritated. They get infuriated when someone asks them to operate out of their comfort zone. For example, when a wife asks for his involvement, an angry man lists things he has already given her. It is usually a list of material things, like what he is providing for his wife or his family. It can be a statement of uncommitted sins – stressing his faithfulness to his wife. Or it can be a favorable comparison to other men who may do less for his wife and family than he does.

Inauthentic men feel strangely good when they sense power within themselves capable of destroying and feel even better when they release it. This release make take the form of putting someone down with cutting words. It can take the form of neglect of a loved one, a friend, a co-worker, or the person who has made them angry. This release can include intimidating a person verbally or physically. Destructive men are not authentic men. They are mad: mad at people, mad at the world, and mad at God. They are full of anger toward everyone but themselves.

By contrast, an authentic man is a far less angry man and less easily threatened. An authentic man has a peace about him. He has the courage to face areas out of his comfort zone. An authentic man is not an abusive man. Rather he is a gentle man, not weak, but gentle. Gentleness is demonstrated in how he cares for and shows compassion towards people.

So, what kind of man are you: inauthentic or authentic?

~ Tim Hall
https://twitter.com/1timothy12
(I encourage feedback, questions & comments – email me at 1timothy46@gmail.com)

What Kind of Man are You? – Part II

“If men become men, the world will change.” ¬– Dr. Larry Crabb

In his book Men of Courage, Dr. Larry Crabb writes that there are two kind of men: inauthentic and authentic.

Last week, I mentioned some of the characteristics of each. For an inauthentic man, these included being controlling, destructive, and selfish. An authentic man is quite different. He an active man who is more concerned with developing a strength others can enjoy rather than achieving power and control for himself. He is a gentle man and lives with purpose.

This week, we are going to begin looking at the characteristics of an inauthentic man that represent the battles going on deep inside his soul. The first is that a inauthentic man feels powerless. For those who feel this way, they like things to be predictable. Unfortunately, life is not predictable. So, men who feel powerless are haunted by the possibility of something happening that they cannot handle. This becomes prevalent in their personal relationships, which is one area that cannot be effectively controlled. Getting close to their wives, feeling respected by their children, having healthy friendships: these are the kinds of areas that have the power to make men feel weak.

To hide their weakness, powerless men find something they can control, something they can handle well, and avoid what they fear. This may be as simple as keeping a car clean or as wrong as seducing another woman. Powerless men spend their lives controlling some outcome and deceiving themselves into thinking it matters.

Now, an authentic man knows he is strong, not powerless. He is not an aggressive man, he is an active man, involved in offering quality relationships to others, more committed to developing a strength that others can enjoy than to achieving for himself a sense of power and control.

So, which kind of man are you: inauthentic or authentic? You see, you can’t move from inauthenticity to authenticity by yourself. It requires surrender to God and having someone to walk along side of you. Who is that person in your life?

~ Tim Hall
https://twitter.com/1timothy12
(I encourage feedback, questions & comments – email me at 1timothy46@gmail.com)

What Kind of Man are You?

When does a man look like? You can ask that question to the experts of manliness (whoever they might be), pastors, women, and other men, and chances are you would get lots of varying answers. Some thoughts might be that a man is broad shouldered, self-confident, committed to his purpose, controls his emotions, doesn’t cry and is a good provider. Agree or disagree?

Let me ask you another question. What does a godly man look like? Now, don’t run and look at yourself in a mirror to answer that question. Think about it, what does a godly man look like? Don’t know? I’m not sure I do either.

In his book Men of Courage, Dr. Larry Crabb writes about “released manhood”. He encourages the reader to think about masculinity as an energy, a natural momentum within the heart of every man, a power and an urge to move into life in a particular way. Dr. Crabb goes on to write that men who suppress this energy are ungodly men, while men who live with this energy released are considered godly.

To help us understand what Dr. Crabb is saying, he uses the illustration of two kinds of men: inauthentic and authentic. We will unpack this more in the coming weeks, but some characteristics of each are:

Inauthentic men are controlling, destructive, selfish. They trust no one and are not good listeners. Inauthentic men are powerless, angry, and terrified; being this kind of man has adverse effects on your relationships, your marriage, and your children. Now I have been this man in my life and in some ways I still am. It took going through one of the most trying times of my life to realize I need to change and move from an inauthentic man to an authentic man.

An authentic man is an active man who is more concerned with developing a strength others can enjoy rather than achieving power and control for himself. An authentic man is gentle. Not weak, but gentle. Finally, an authentic man is a purposeful man. He knows why and what he is living for.

So, what kind of man are you? Inauthentic or authentic?
This isn’t a question to take lightly, but one for us to think about. This week I challenge you to think about this and honestly answer for yourself, what kind of man am I?

~ Tim Hall
https://twitter.com/1timothy12
(I encourage feedback, questions & comments – email me at 1timothy46@gmail.com)

After the Fall…Grace

Genesis 3

Fall here is not in reference to the season of the year. Although many would look at the beauty of the changing landscape and find grace in what they see. I know I do.

But the fall I’m thinking about is the event in which Adam and Eve disobeyed the explicit command from God to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good evil (Gen. 2:7). There were a lot of “yes” trees Adam and Eve were free to eat from and only one “no” tree. For reasons we will never understand, Adam and Eve were not content with eating from the abundance of “yes” trees and felt compelled to eat of the tree that God said was off limits. It was at that moment sin entered the world and immediately they were aware of their nakedness and felt ashamed.

So, sin leads to shame and shame leads to blame, “The woman who you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate” (Gen. 3:12). In other words, “God if you hadn’t put this woman in my life, none of this would have happened. It’s your fault, God.” Adam refused to accept responsibility for his behavior and when someone refuses to accept responsibility for their behavior, they look for someone to blame. Adam chose to blame God.

How does God respond to this shame and blame? He gives Adam and Eve exactly what they don’t deserve. If fact, it could be argued that He broke His own promise by not giving them what they deserved. They were warned that on the day they ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil they would die. But that didn’t happen; they didn’t die (Gen. 2:17).

Instead, in response to the couple’s sin, God cursed the woman to suffer anguish in child birth and the man to endure toil in earning a living. He cursed the couple’s intimacy so they would experience conflict. He even cursed the ground. Now all of this may not look like grace, but that is exactly what it is. Think about it, the couple didn’t die.

God delayed their physical death and put into place a plan of redemption. God told the serpent that “he will crush your head” (Gen. 15). This “he” is the one who would come in the name of the Lord with the authority to lay down his life on behalf of the sins of mankind. “He” is the promise of grace personified in the person of Jesus Christ our Savior. It is He would endure the affliction of evil and suffer the penalty of death that Adam was promised and that we all deserve. That my friends is amazing grace!

Where in your life have you received divine discipline for your sin? How did you respond to this divine discipline? Were you grateful for God’s grace in that moment or were you angry with Him?

~ Tim Hall
https://twitter.com/1timothy12
(I encourage feedback, questions & comments – email me at 1timothy46@gmail.com)